The continuing exploits of Mr. Finnegan as he conquers the world with his cuteness.

I don’t know why this is called a “Nuclear” Family.

Going Nuclear

Do you think that we might explode at some point? I guess I’ll just have to devote my life to the study of physics so I can find the answer to questions such as these.

Mother and Father dusted off the Victrola and played for me the musical compositions of a Mr. David Bowie. This provided me with a delightful accompaniment for an impromptu jig, which I executed at once in the hallway of our abode.

Jiggity Jig

If memory serves me correctly, the lyrics of the composition this jig was performed to comprise of the following stanzas:

Will you stay in our Lovers’ Story
If you stay you won’t be sorry
‘Cause we believe in you
Soon you’ll grow so take a chance
With a couple of Kooks
Hung up on romancing

We bought a lot of things
to keep you warm and dry
And a funny old crib on which the paint won’t dry
I bought you a pair of shoes
A trumpet you can blow
And a book of rules
On what to say to people
when they pick on you
‘Cause if you stay with us you’re gonna be pretty Kookie too

[CHORUS]

And if you ever have to go to school
Remember how they messed up
this old fool
Don’t pick fights with the bullies
or the cads
‘Cause I’m not much cop at punching other people’s Dads
And if the homework brings you down
Then we’ll throw it on the fire
And take the car downtown

“Kooks” by David Bowie

Submitted for your approval: a creature with the upper body of a human baby and the lower body of a black and white common house cat. Is this the creation from the laboratories of some scientific genius gone mad? Or perhaps the offspring of some unnatural mixing of the human and animal kingdoms?

Cat Baby Hybrid

Alas, it is clear from this documentary evidence that aliens have visited our planet not once, but at least twice, once for each half of this unholy alliance of human and feline. It is obvious to those who ‘know’ that such a creature is most perfectly suited for the accomplishment of their aims of subjugating our world. The sneakiness of cat combined with the irresistible cuteness of baby – all shall fall before me . . . er, uh, I mean ‘it’. Did I say ‘me’? What was I thinking?

I have made the most remarkable discovery this weekend past: I have seen the ocean, and it is truly stupendous in its breadth and width, such that I can scarce believe it possible that anything could extend so far in all directions.

The beach is A OK with me

Father held me down where I could observe the waves coming in, an event I beheld over and over with rapt attention.

Watching the waves

Following this, Mother took me in her arms and ran freely out to sea! We were quickly engulfed in the pounding surf, an experience I will never forget.

Mother and I in the ocean

My concept of “large” must now be amended. Now that I have seen the ocean I can understand that there may be a few other things out there that I have yet to discover. If I had not seen the ocean I would not have believed any who told me of it. I recommend to anyone such an experience. Not to be missed.

Being born in August, this October is my very first October, which also makes it my first opportunity to make the yearly pilgrimage to the Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island. From what I gather, this is a required yearly ritual that I am to perform as part of my membership in our nuclear unit.

Perfect Pumpkins

The place was filled with the milling denizens of Earth, more people in one location than I had imagined existed. There were so many, in fact, that I can only assume that the ones in the distance were in danger of being crowded over the edge of the horizon, and hence off the edge of the Earth. What happens then I have yet to find out.

We wandered about and took pictures and video to document our accomplishments. Mother and Father ate something called an “Elephant Ear”, which led me to be on the lookout for any angry earless elephants that might still be lurking near. We took the grand promenade which included the petting zoo of farm animals. I was amazed that the other people were amazed at seeing the animals, as I have seen many a chicken and goat right near my house, so I assumed that they were plentiful and even distributed across the planet.

Finally we visited the store where Mother had to battle the throng in order to purchase a special honey that is only found in that place. The shouting and jostling of the ensuing melee gave me the permission I needed and I lent my voice to the cacophony.  The only real problem was that my screaming lasted long after we had left the store area, and did not abate until I was safely ensconced in my carseat back. And so ended our delightful visit to the Pumpkin Patch.